I have been an educator for 25 years, working as an English and creative writing teacher, college counselor, and school leader. I was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis at the age of 6, and have been working to stay active and live well in spite of my physical challenges.
As my Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis became more physically evident, people believed that it was their place to comment on my body. Strangers would ask me what was wrong with me and remark on my walk. Even colleagues were focused on my handicap. I began to have to wear armor all day, every day in order to not feel small, to not feel bad about myself. It’s exhausting to encounter this treatment each day–to go through the world without really being seen. I’ve talked to so many others who have the same experiences. I’ve seen the way that people look at a person in a wheelchair, or someone using crutches, and how they respond to a person with autism, who may struggle to make eye contact or be unsure of how to respond to social cues.
Usually, when someone makes a comment to me, I hold my tongue, either ignoring the comments or responding tersely, wishing that I could speak freely. The day that a stranger in the grocery parking lot, approaching me from behind as I walked to the store said, “You’re doing great, and you’re almost there” was the day I could hold my tongue no longer. I told her to stop being condescending and to go on her way. I know that she was shocked at my response, thinking herself kind and supportive. Yet so ignorant.
I now work as a DEI Consultant, and am especially focused on educating about physical disabilities and working to make the world a more accessible and inclusive place for all.